"It's true," she rasped. Small and hunched, she had small eyes, short, frizzed white hair, and plenty of wrinkled, loose skin set in a typical Chinese face.
Ah-Sum, that's what I called her. She has forgotten many things in her life - she cannot remember when she was born nor who brought her to this old folks' home. Despite this forgetfulness, Ah-Sum did not show signs of senility - I believed that her mind was still agile for a 60-year old woman. If she was senile, how do you account for her insightful and colourful stories? The story she had just recounted had an air of incredulity about it - and with the sunlight streaming in through the open louvred windows, I had a difficult time reconciling with stories about spirits.
"My dear, it truly happened," she sighed. In mock exasperation, Ah-Sum pushed my hands away and ordered, "Go home, you little girl. You must be tired after hearing an old woman ramble like this. Come again next week."
Visiting Ah-Sum has been a weekly ritual for me although Sam Pak (or Third Uncle) passed away last January. I used to visit Sam-Pak and at the same time, talk to this chatty woman who claimed to be Sam-Pak's best friend.
Sam-Pak used to be annoyed with her - he used to say, "My niece is here to visit me and not talk to you. Why are you so noisy?" Ah-Sum would flash a toothy grin and keep quiet for all of five minutes before she dragged me to her side and began her story sessions.
Of her many stories, this one lodged in my mind because it seemed so farfetched.
Ah-Sum said she was about eight years old when she witnessed extensive preparations for a traditional Chinese wedding at the shophouse. In those times, weddings were happy occasions with lots of goodies to eat. She was as excited as everyone in her grandfather's shop.
Ah-Sum's father ran a tailoring business which had been handed down from her grandfather, a serious, no-nonsense tailor who expertly fashioned blazers and coats for the British soldiers stationed in Penang.
But the chief controller of this flourishing family business was her grandmother. A woman who rarely smiled and rarely spoke to anyone in the ancestral home, preferring to bark her orders from her room upstairs. It was whispered in the servants' circles that her grandmother was extremely wealthy. It was this wealth that set Ah-Sum's grandfather in his tailoring business. But, of course, no one dared ask grandfather. With his booming voice and piercing stare, he could silence one with a swift glance.
In those days, they were considered well-to-do as grandfather's business employed more than five people who helped cut, sew and tailor coats. It was a huge family and Ah-Sum remembered that they even employed a cook and three servants.
With four sons and a daughter, her grandfather was the grand partriach of the Lee family. Ah-Sum recounted that her father was the eldest son. Her Third and Fifith Uncle were married and each had children. It was an unspoken rule that everyone must live in the large, traditional shophouse.
"We squeezed into three rooms upstairs and my brothers had to sleep downstairs, wherever they found a place to open up their collapsible beds," Ah-Sum said. Ah-Sum said that she had four brothers and two elder sisters while Third Uncle had four children. Fifth Uncle, fortunately, had only two sons. The tailoring business was shared among the partriach's three sons.
"Fourth Uncle had passed away even before we children were born. He was then a child, about seven or eight years old. Sometimes, my eldest brother with his 'ying' eyes would be able to see Fourth Uncle in grandmother's room."
"Just before the Chinese All Souls' Day, Fourth Uncle appeared in my father's dream one night. In the dream, he said that while in the underworld, he fell in love with a girl and would my father please relay this message to my grandfather? He needed permission to marry."
"My father was disturbed by this dream as he had been about twelve years old when his younger brother died of high fever. He half-heartedly believed his dream and did not want to burden his father, who was then 68, with this dream. In time, he forgot about it.
"But the dream persisted. My father would dream the same dream every night and he began to feel uncomfortable. Finally, he asked mother for advice. Talk to grandfather, mother urged. Ghosts must be appeased or they will remain unhappy. Unhappy ancestral spirits did not augur well for family health and business."
Knowing that grandfather was a strict disciplinarian who tolerated nothing, Ah-Sum's father - armed with a heavy heart - approached the family partriach with trepidation. Fearful that he would be reproached, he was taken back when grandfather, after listening intently to the story, nodded and instructed that if Fourth Uncle appeared again in father's dream, he must tell Fourth Uncle that he had his permission to marry. Grandfather also reminded father to ask Fourth Uncle about the girl.
That fateful night, Fourth Uncle appeared in father's dream; this time he seemed calmer. He needed Ah-Sum's father to find the girl's relatives and deliver the marriage proposal.
In truth, Ah-Sum's father did not quite believe this eerie turn of events. Nevertheless he set about tracking the girl's family, who incidentally lived not too far away. They had a large sundry shop and were merchants of Chinese dried goods. They, too, were visited by the ghost of their youngest daughter (who had also passed away as a child) who informed them that on such and such a day, the Lee family would bring them a marriage proposal.
So imagine the family's surprise when Ah-Sum's father, her uncles and grandfather turned up on their doorstep, bearing a marriage proposal! The girl's family, too, were shocked that their deceased daughter described the events with such accuracy. Indeed, the lovelorn couple had met in the underworld. This was confirmed by a temple medium that both families sought.
At the same time, an auspicious date for the wedding was picked.
From that moment onwards, the two Cantonese families who had never met nor heard of each other if not for their 'ghostly ties' busied themselves preparing for the wedding. It was a first for both parties - both had never organised a ghost wedding. Quite rightly, the medium helped with the arduous preparations.
Ah-Sum recalled being awed by the two life-sized bamboo-and-paper dolls - one male and one female, resplendent in their wedding finery, sitting on opposite sides of the wedding dias. With benign expressions, the dolls looked almost real. Plates of real food - fruits, pink turtle-shaped buns, sweets, roast pig and other meats were carefully placed on a long table. The table also displayed a joss urn and red candles. Chinese joss paper and 'gold' were piled high - no doubt dowry for the bride in the underworld. There were also 'gold jewellery' and 'cosmetic' as well as slippers and clothes for the newly-wed couple. In many ways, it was a real wedding - with real guests and relatives.
An invited medium performed the complicated ceremony, full of incantations and blessings. The robed medium then burned joss paper and cajoled the ghost couple to partake in the feast that had been lovingly prepared.
With his newly-married bride, Fourth Uncle offered tea (through the medium) to their elders for good blessings and fortune in the traditional tea ceremony! The laborious wedding ceremony ended some two hours later, with everyone sitting down to a wedding meal. By a strange twist of fate, Ah-Sum's family and the girl's family were suddenly thrown together as relatives!
While the wedding was pronounced a success; the medium conveyed that the couple wished for a child to make their 'married life' complete. A child who would 'take care' of them - sweep their graves and pray for them come each Ching Ming. The medium approached Ah-Sum's father to find a solution to this predicament.
After much agonizing and family discussion, finally, Ah-Sum's father promised that should his wife give birth, the child will be 'given' to the ghost couple. And so it came to be that Ah-Sum's younger brother became Fourth Uncle's 'son'. Ah-Sum's younger brother was 'handed over' in an elaborate and colourful ceremony to the ghost couple when he reached one.
According to Ah-Sum, her brother visits his maternal relatives each Chinese New Year and Ching Ming (Chinese All Souls' Day). As a filial son, he also visits his 'parents' grave during these Chinese festivals and keeps the graves clean and tidy.
"But he is getting old and his children take over his responsibilities. They make a fuss about visiting the graves and the immediate relatives but somehow or another, they have to continue this family tradition," Ah-Sum said.
"I know this sounds unbelievable especially today when ghosts and spirits aren't real to you young people any more. But this ghost lovestory is true, eerie and strange it may be. After I witnessed the ghost wedding in its splendour, I have always been a believer."
by Krista
14th November 2000
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